Sexism in the Workplace

A couple days ago I was working. I work in tourism, so tourists regularly come through and use the facilities. One of the tourists made a big 'mess' on the toilet seat, and the other staff and I were arguing about who had to clean it up.
There is one guy who works with us who told me I should do it because I am 'a girl' and it is a 'girls job'. That was unacceptable. So I told him that he was being unbelievably sexist.
After being called out on it, he apologized and went to clean up the mess. I'm not trying to say that girls should have to clean messes, its just not right that the responsibility gets immediately passed to the women. Especially because my job is to be out in the field while he is more of a 'behind the scenes' guy.
There is sexism in the workplace constantly, even when there is no messy toilet to clean up. Men and women both automatically sort work into what men should do and what women should do based on the type of job.
How many times have women been 'helped' because something is heavy or 'not a lady like thing to do'? Women are just as capable as men, and men are just as capable as women.
I know some guys and girls who say that a woman's job is to stay home to take care of their family and house. That is also extremely sexist. There are a million women who are just as good or better than their male counterparts at certain jobs. So why is it so hard for women to do well in the same position? Why do women have to fight so hard to have the same opportunities? Why do women get congratulated more than men for their achievements?
Treating men and women differently based on their gender is sexism. Sadly, sexism is all over the workplace. Women and men alike can feel the consequences of it. It's time to stop. We need to recognize and call people out on being sexist. And not just the bad things, the good things as well. Why should someone be able to tell a woman that she 'has an amazing job for a girl'? THAT IS SEXIST!!! Any compliment that has something to do with gender is usually sexist. We need to avoid that.
What sexism have you seen in the workplace? Do you think it's okay?

Curing Some Common Misconceptions About Autism

Hello all! I know you don't know me since I'm a guest on this fantastic blog but I thought I would take the time tonight to sit down and talk with you about a topic near and dear to my heart. First let, me tell you a little bit about myself. After all, we're veritable strangers, right?

My name is C.L. McReynolds. I am twenty-five years old.

I am the author of two published novels so far, 'Prophets and Providences' and 'Thaumaturgy', the sequel of which I am currently writing for this year's NaNoWriMo (all of which are available on Amazon for those interested in checking them out! ;) ).

I am a college graduate and a teacher of American Sign Language.

I am an avid reader and fan of fandoms like Supernatural, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.

I am currently expecting my first baby.

I am Autistic.

That's right. I have Autism, and not the kind you see on shows like Sherlock and the Big Bang Theory where they're just quirky, eccentric and hyper-intelligent savants. No, I have the meltdowns-in-public-panic-attack-can't-drive-won't-even-go-out-in-public-alone kind of Autism. And before you ask, no, I've never seen and never plan to see Rain Man.

You're probably wondering by now, 'Why on earth are you having a baby if you're that kind of Autistic?'

Well, it wouldn't be the first time I've heard that and I very much doubt it will be the last. Sure, I'm that kind of Autistic but you'll notice that in the little introduction that I gave above, none of those difficulties are there. Sure, I have sensory difficulties and the resulting anxiety that comes with them but I'm also a person with strengths, with skills and with achievements of my own.

Some of you, as you've read this are probably muttering at the screen, 'But you're just bringing another Autistic baby into the world!'

Yes. And?

As you've probably noticed, don't see Autism as quite the same Greek tragedy so many other people do. It's like being in a wheelchair or being Deaf. All come with their own challenges to be overcome and all are people with dignity, honor and self-respect. None of us are tragedies. And, as the chances of my baby having Autism too are quite high, then we'll just be down on the floor playing with Legos and spinning truck wheels together while the same movie plays back to back in the background.

On that note, let me respond to a few of the pretty common questions I receive (usually from perfect strangers and not on a public forum like this. I'm not kidding they will come up and ask me without prompting. Exceptionally rude).

1. No, I am not drawing a disability check. My partner is actually a sergeant in our local law enforcement and I work from home.
2. Yes, I use my voice. I am a verbal individual, especially when strangers ask me this question. No but seriously, when you have Autism, sometimes when the upset crowds your brain, the words get stuck. That's why I learned Sign Language. A great number of my employers and friends are Deaf or sign so I'm never short of socialization in either language. :)
3. I don't, nor will I ever, support Autism Speaks. That's a soapbox I won't get on right now but as an Autistic adult, I say 'no thank you'. Instead, I choose to support the excellent work of advocates such as the Autism Society of America .
4. Yes, I do have some unique special interests. Anything Harry Potter, my own book series (because spending that much time writing a six part fantasy series? It has to be! ;)), anything Diablo (the videogame lol), as well as a few others. That's right, you don't have to have just one.
5. Yes, women can be Autistic too. It's actually being discovered more and more among women simply because before, they had no idea that it presented differently in women than it does in boys. Simply put, a man with Autism and woman with Autism are probably not going to have the same difficulties, reactions, or quirks. Then again, Autism varies widely from individual to individual too so that goes for people as well as genders.
6. Am I high-functioning? I really hate this question actually. I hate it because I've seen what we refer to as “functioning labels” used to discount the opinions and input of Autistic people on all sides of the spectrum. For many, you're either too low-functioning for you to know what you're talking about or so high-functioning that you “may as well not be Autistic at all”. Pretty crappy, huh? Also, I feel like functionality can vary greatly even within a single individual (if you're interested, check out Autistic Regression and Fluid Adaptation to get a better idea of how this happens) depending on different factors. For example, I feel like I'm“lower-functioning” now than I use to be. So my answer to this question is always, “I'm just Autistic.”
7. Yes, Autistic people can have satisfying, fulfilling and long-term relationships with neurotypical people. It may take more work and understanding on the part of both partners but any relationship or marriage does. In the case of Autistic/Neurotypical relationships, I think the biggest thing is going to be patience and communication, whether that communication is spoken, written, signed, in 1337 speak or Silvan Elvish. Whatever works for the two of you (or more if that's your preference) works, no matter how odd it may seem to anyone else.
8. Should you try to correct your Autistic partner or child's “strange” or “embarrassing” behavior? NO! Absolutely not! They are only doing what comes naturally to them! Would you like it if someone told you that you weren't allowed to ever undress in your own home anymore because it embarrassed them? It sounds pretty crazy huh? But some of the odd things that your partner or child may be doing, stimming for example, are merely ways for them to feel comfortable or regulate some internal discomfort. Feel happy that they trust you enough and feel comfortable enough around you to not try and hide behaviors that come naturally to them. Autistic brains are simply wired differently for movement, sound, etc. The only behaviors that should ever be corrected (and only by gently guiding them to a better behavior to replace it) is self-injurious or harmful behaviors. I'm talking physically harmful, not harmful to your social standing in the local Kroger.
9. What are meltdowns like? Well...they're scary sometimes. It's like your entire world gets blinders put on it and all you can focus on is that one hurt, sensation, emotion or frustration until it builds and builds. It builds like the pressure in a broken submarine until eventually the pressure explodes. Meltdowns don't always look like the screaming, flailing scenarios you see on tv. Sometimes it's just uncontrollable, uncommunicative sobbing or you sort of get lost inside of yourself until you lose the ability to connect yourself with anything outside of your own head. You can't think, can't speak, can't do anything until it is over. They do end though, usually after a while but sometimes we need help. A bear hug or something nicely weighted and warm. Sometimes all it takes is someone supportive sitting next to us and tell us it's okay until we ride it out. Maybe you're even that support person in your Autistic's life.

There are so many other topics in relation to this one that we could discuss but alas, we would probably be here for another week or so. So I will leave all of you with the hope that you realize that the Autistic person that may be in your life, the one you see at school or work or the mother struggling in the supermarket with her melting down child (and meltdowns are far different from tantrums) are all people who are deserving of your dignity, respect and understanding, not criticism and derision. We are people, just like you who can thrive and achieve once we have the physical, mental and emotional tools to do so. I hope I've given you all something to think about and I hope you enjoyed learning a little more tonight. Thanks!

-C.L. McReynolds

Stereotyping is a Form of Discrimination

Stereotypes are a part of our every day lives. When we see a person, we have a preconceived idea about them simply because of what they look like or what they are wearing. Although it is not quite the same as saying something outright, stereotyping is a form of discrimination.
A stereotype is defined as a widely held, oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing. For example, one stereotype may be that bananas aren't good if they aren't yellow. Does that make it true? Not at all.

 
 

Do these bananas look yellow to you? No... because Dacca bananas aren't yellow. But they sure are good.
We use stereotypes without even realizing it. A couple weeks ago in class, some of the boys were talking about Kevin Hart. One of them yelled out that I had no idea what they were talking about because I am white, and white people don't watch Kevin Hart.
Another boy in my class, who was not part of the conversation, jumped in to say that he watches Kevin Hart all the time, and he is white.
Having the first boy assume that I don't watch something because of my skin color was slightly offensive, even if I don't watch it. The deeper stereotypes go, the more offensive they become. 
A while back I was talking with some of my friends about the freakiest thing that has ever happened while we were out alone. One said that she got lost, another said that she walked into the wrong kind of store and got the wrong kind of attention. One of the girls said that she saw a big black man standing on the side of the street.
I stopped her right there. I asked why that was so freaky. She stuttered a little and finally just said that he "gave her a bad vibe" and "looked like trouble". 
That is the kind of stereotype that needs to be stopped. For all we know, he could have been the nicest man on the planet. He could have been a heart surgeon who donated thousands of dollars to charity every year.
Why is it fair to throw these labels on people because of their skin color or where they live? Why is it okay to assume that every white girl loves Starbucks and Sweaters and that boys who care about their looks are gay?  
I know some people who argue that stereotypes can help you. What if that man that my friend saw really was a bad person and would have hurt her? What if the girl with bright pink hair and tattoos that my brother saw really was a mean person?
Lets say that on average a stereotype is correct one out of ten times. Does this make it worth loosing those nine potential friends just to avoid the one bad one? If that stereotype was about apples, would you eat the nine good apples or just throw them away with the one bad apple?
So now I ask you, what you do think about stereotypes? Which ones do you see and which ones influence how you think and act?

Women are Sexist Too

A lot of people are under the false impression that only men are sexist. That statement is sexist. Recently I've seen a lot of sexism coming from women, and just like sexism coming from men, it needs to stop.
I was talking with a girl from school today. We were talking about what we want to do when we graduate. When I told her I wanted to be a doctor she immediately corrected me. She asked "you mean a nurse right?" Then went on to say "Doctors are men."
This is just one example of sexism coming from women. Why can't a doctor be a woman? I know lots of female doctors, and male nurses. But for some reason, when you hear 'doctor' you think man, and when you hear 'nurse' you think woman.
Another example of sexism from women was pointed out in a Facebook post by an old friend of mine. Her point was about how adults act around children and babies.
She pointed out that it is acceptable for women to coo over babies, in fact, they are expected too. Men, on the other hand, are not "supposed" to do this. In fact, when they do play with children and babies, its makes them seem out of the ordinary and 'special'. Why? Because of how our society works. Because sexism runs so deep in our culture that its hard to imagine a man taking care of his child and a woman being the breadwinner of the family.
Women accept this as a truth, and that's why women are sexist. They may not even realize it.
What do you think? Do you think that women are being sexist? Or do you think that this is just how life is? Do you think that we will ever see a change?

Sexism Is All Around Us... And We Don't Even Know It

Every day we see sexism. It might be a joke about how she's "just a girl" so she should or can't do it. It might be telling him to "grow a pair" because he doesn't want to do something. Sexism is so deeply threaded into our lives that we don't even realize when someone says something sexist, or when we do.
The other day at school we had marching practice (the whole school has to do it for a youth rally). The police officer who is teaching us is not only sexist, but pretty  much uses every other "ism" in the book.
There is one very short boy in my little brothers class, and the police officer told him his new name was "Short stuff" and made him repeat it until the whole school had burst out laughing. The boy was not very happy.
Anyway, one other boy was causing a disruption and the officer was not very happy. He yelled for everyone to be quiet and told the boy "According to psychology, people who look for attention don't do well without attention. But this is more seen in girls."
First of all, I checked with a psychologist and that claim was completely  wrong. Second of all, saying that girls looked for attention more way unbelievably sexist. There is absolutely no evidence of that, or any studies done to prove that. He just said it to make the boy feel like he was acting like a girl, which is horrible.
There is nothing wrong with acting like a girl, or being a girl, or anything to do with girls. But now, for some reason, being "like a girl" is an insult. Why is it so wrong for a man to have feminine traits or for a woman to have male traits? Why is it insulting for one gender to be associated with the other?
However, there are people that think that "like a girl" or "like a man" is a compliment, but that is wrong too. Saying that one is a compliment is the same as saying the other is an insult.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter, so feel free to leave a comment. What sexism have you seen in your life?

Feminism Vs. Equality

   Feminism is defined as the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. Equality is the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, or opportunities. So what is the difference? Feminism is promoting women. This is why so many people, especially men, don't like feminism.
   The truth is, feminism is basically viewed as another ism, even if its different. Many people hear the word and immediately assume that all it is is women trying to assert their dominance over men. Perhaps "feminism" isn't the right word for the movement, because true feminists really are trying to achieve sexual equality.
   For this reason alone I do not label myself a feminist, even though I agree with their mission and cause. Men and women are both people, both human beings, so why should one be better than the other? Because one gender has a "y" chromosome instead of another "x"? Because one gender gives birth and the other doesn't? Because one gender is more physically inclined?
   No. These reasons do not make one gender better than the other. It is true that males and females are different, but different does not mean better or worse.
   Both feminism and equality try to get this point across. They both are part of the fight for what's right, even if feminism has an "ism" name.
  
   Feel free to leave a comment and tell me what your thoughts are on equality and feminism. Don't forget to share this with your friends and follow my blog!

The "isms"

The "ism's". That's what I call them. Sexism, racism, ageism, classism.... The list goes on and on. What they all have in common, besides their endings, is that they are all forms of discrimination. They all represent the belief that one group of people are superior to another.
Why do these exist? Why do humans feel the need to make themselves better by putting others down? Even feminism, which is supposed to represent equality, comes off as women saying that they are better than men, just because they are women!
The simple truth is, no one is better than anyone else because of how their genes came together. If anyone is truly superior to others, it is because they work hard and earn that title.
All throughout history ism's have existed. Men are better, the rich are better, whites are better,  heterosexuals are better.
Some people just accept these to be truths, especially when they work in that persons favor. This happens much to often.
How do we stop these ism's from controlling how we live our lives? Frist we need to realize that they are. We need to open our eyes. We need to follow the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated. Because that is our right, to be treated fairly.
So now I ask you, what ism's are a part of your every day life? What do you wish you could change? When have you seen these ism's in play?
I would love to hear your thoughts on ism's. Why do you think they exist? Who is affected most?
Don't let ism's slide. They don't help anyone. They put people down, people that are the same as me and you. We all deserve to be given a chance to show who we really are, and grow to our full potential. Don't we?